what do you think causes you to love others? seems to me it is seeing your reflection in them. a kind of narcissism to be sure, but think about it... the more controlling a cult, the more they attempt to make everyone look like each other and that causes this reflection reaction to occur. within such groups you will find some reflect your other interests as well and those you will have even stronger bonds with... ciques will form. there are those who for whatever reason, perhaps they are ugly, fat, socially unacceptable, you will even fight your seeing your reflections, but in high control cults you will be made to feel guilty for doing so...
in larger churchs like catholic and baptist, there is an aire of we have the truth and we dont even care if you show up to meetings, you will burn in hell if you dont, so there...and seeing your reflection in people there is a lot harder.